Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is our 10th wedding anniversary.

We met in college, I an 18 year old freshman (was I ever that young?), and he an older, wiser sophomore at 23, with five years in the Marines already under his belt.  Friendship turned to romance over the course of a semester, and in the spring of 2000, we began dating.

I remember one date at a local pizza buffet.  Tuesdays were buy one, get one free, and drinks were free with a college I.D., so we both got to eat all we wanted for $5.  Gotta love college towns!

We were flirting back and forth, laughing, doing the magnetic dance all young lovers learn.  Pulling away, pulling together, pulling away.  We had eyes for only each other.  Then an old man sidled slyly up to us, took hold of my sleeve, and admonished with a twinkle in his eye, "Ain't no snelly frocking in the pizza parlor, you hear?"

I'm happy to say that there is still snelly frocking going on in the Newton house, and sometimes in public, as well.  Tee hee.

Some college friends of ours just celebrated their 10 year anniversary a few weeks ago.  I'm going to copy her clever blog post (you can read it here), and list where life has taken us thus far.  In the past 10 years, we have:

• Both graduated college
• Put Scott through law school
• Taught elementary school
• Moved to a different state
• Taught middle school
• Scott sat for two separate states' bar exams
• Scott worked as a defense attorney, then as a prosecutor
• Had two babies
• Lost three babies
• Mourned for the death of both of Scott's grandparents, and two of mine
• Bought a house
• Ran for political office
• Scott became a judge
• Started a blog

Happy Anniversary, Scott.  Let the snelly frocking continue!

The Difference Is ...

There was an albino woman who lived in our village.  Her skin was a painful shade of hot pink, wrinkled and lined like dry leather.  Her pale, bloodshot eyes were hooded in a constant squint against the sun's blinding glare.

I am ashamed to say that I avoided her.  She was a reminder of what I was - an outsider, different, marked by the color of my skin.

The kids used to tease me occasionally about her.

"Danica, I saw your mom at the well today."

"Really?  I didn't know she went ... "

"No, your island mom."  At which they'd burst in to riotous laughter and shove against my arms.  Ha ha.

Life is cruel for someone marked with a physical disability.  It is ten times more cruel if that person lives in the third world.  I have seen a boy with Down Syndrome squatting naked in the dirt as he picks grains of rice from it to eat.  A hermaphrodite pursued relentlessly by jeering boys.  A girl with a wandering eye named, "Bent Eye".

We like to think we are more civilized here in the West.  But in reality all our hearts hide a revulsion of those different from us.  Christians ostracize gays and Muslims.  Republicans revile Democrats, and both sides ridicule the Tea Party.  Northerners feel superior to Southerners.  The poor hate the rich.  Whites marginalize Blacks who marginalize Hispanics who marginalize Whites.

And we're all bumping around in this crazy world feeding fear with hate while the suffering continues and nothing gets solved.

For My Mom

It was the first night we brought Sophie home.  All of us were crowded into the little, 100 year old adobe house in Cottonwood Canyon.  I was desperate to prove myself a 'good' mother, but completely at a loss as to how to get my baby to stop crying. And boy, was she crying.  Her newborn wails filled the rooms and echoed pitifully through the windows we'd cracked against the February stuffiness.  She didn't want to eat.  She was clean.  And none of the books or blogs I'd read while pregnant offered any help for this situation.  

I had surrendered the baby in despair to the grandparents, and laid down in the bedroom to gather the scattered pieces of myself.  And then, suddenly, Sophie's crying stopped.  The entire world held its breath for a few heartbeats.  I tentatively poked my head around the door of the living room to investigate.  

There my mom was, sitting in our old leather chair, with my daughter draped tummy-side-down across her knees.  Mom had her hand on Sophie's back, and was slowly smoothing her soft skin back and forth.  She looked up. 

"I figured it out!  She has gas.  Poor thing.'  And went back to her ministrations.  

That's my mom.  Capable, practical, always useful.  She pinpoints a problem and quietly works out its solution while the rest of us are throwing our hands up in despair.  

And now, when Sophie comes to me in her distress, I look at her round face and see my mother in her eyes.  I only hope I can live up to it.

I love you, Mom.  Happy Birthday!

Friday Friends - Honiara, Solomon Islands

We all have different experiences when we live in a different country.  On Fridays, I share the experiences, memories and pictures from others living across cultures.


Do you want to contribute?  Email me a picture accompanied by a short description / story / poem / whatever inspires you! I'll put it up!

Woodford International School
Honiara, Solomon Islands
Tina (American)
1980


I am the small, curly-haired blond hiding in the left center of the photo (4th in from the left).


My memories from this time frame include walking to and from school with  my dad as chaperon (it was not safe for a little white girl to walk two miles unaccompanied).  The older boys who "lieu"-ed every where would harass and cat-call etc.  And I always hated being called "misses" so it was just better for Dad to walk with me.  We would chat about different stuff and I think he enjoyed the chance to get out and walk each day.  


We played jump rope and "elastics" (aka Chinese jump rope) at recess.  I was excellent at "dutch doubles" on the jump ropes and could run in and out of the swinging ropes without missing.  Even though I was tiny I did very well at elastics because I was quite flexible and learned to kick high with my legs and grab the elastics with my toes to keep from missing.  At home I would practice alone by hooking the elastic over two dining room chairs.  We had many jump rope poems/rhymes we would chant, some I remember all the words to even now.


Thanks for sharing your memories, Tina!  I, also, abhorred being called, "misses", and spent hours practicing my Chinese jump rope skills with the help of dining room chairs.  If YOU have a submission, send it my way and you could see it here soon!

Nasty Girl

Ever have moments when you feel like a million bucks?  For me, it's when I'm on the tail end of a run, my body is moving effortlessly, and the rhythm is just right.  That was the sweet spot I had entered when I rounded the corner of the final stretch on my run this morning.  

Baby, I was hitting it.  Arms pumping the cadence, breath keeping tempo with each stride.   I couldn't even feel my feet, they were flying so smooth.  I ran into the sunrise, bringing it home, when I heard a shout behind me.

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty!"  A dented red Nissan sailed past me, and it took me a second to realize that the skinny guy hanging out the passenger side window was directing his insult at me.  

Really?  I thought, confused.  Who is in that bad of a mood at 6 am?  Dude, get some coffee and quit spoiling my high.  

Now, I really have no idea what I look like from behind when I'm running.  For all I know, it could be all jello and jiggly cottage cheese.  But I hope Mr. Beat Up Nissan learns what a real woman's body looks like before he gets married, because he's in for a rude awakening once the sweet young thang he knocks up pops out a baby or two.  

Well, I Am Raising Them To Be Themselves ...

One of my main goals in parenting is that my kids are free to discover, develop, and become who they were purposed and gifted to be.  I try to provide lots and lots of opportunities for them to explore their world and who they are.

Maybe I should provide just a little less opportunity.

Sophie was playing around with her whiteboard this morning as I was cleaning.  After a few moments of quiet, she brought this to show me:

Her very first written word.  Ever.  Sweet, huh?  Should I be worried?

Thankfully, I'm not the only one who has ever faced this - read about another mom's experience here.  Interestingly, another home schooler.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Those home school people are craaazy.

Case in point:

Xander just walked by me, butt naked except for a chic pair of black wedges he found in my closet.

Media Monday - 'Big Brother' Week 4

Welcome to what used to be called, 'Netflix Movie Monday'.  This is where I review a movie / tv show / documentary that I have discovered, found interesting, and want to share.  As Big Brother is my annual summer time obsession, and it's on three times a week, Media Monday will be dedicated to BB recaps while the show airs.  

Sunday, July 24 - Luxury Competition, Nomination Ceremony

Instead of the Have/Have Not Food Competition, this week the house guests competed for the chance to win a luxury prize.  In this case, they had to guess the name of a mystery celebrity.  Jordan, through some wild mental computings that made sense only to herself, immediately correctly guessed 'David Hasselhoff'.  The Hoff himself appeared in the house (wearing a 'Don't Hassle the Hoff' shirt, I might add), and whisked Jordan off up to the HoH room with three other house guests of her choice to watch a screening of the new CBS show, 'Same Name'.  Ahem.  Shameless plug.  Is it just me, or does the Hoff act like he was hitting the old alky-hol quite heavily before he entered the house?

Jordan chooses (of course) Jeff, and then picks Shelly and Kalia as well.  This incenses Rachel, who expected to be picked.  Jordan later explains to the camera that she didn't want to have to listen to Brendan and Rachel play kissey face throughout the entire showing.  I don't blame her.  

Rachel and Brendan spiral out of control for a little while, and we all get an inside look at what their marriage will be in a few years.  Scary.  Rachel toys with the idea of putting up Jeff and Jordan on the block, but ends up playing it safe by nominating Dominic and Adam.  Dom, sorry buddy, but you're just too big of a threat!  The power couples only want weak players in the game.  

Wednesday, July 27 - Veto Competition and Ceremony

After being reassured by Brendan and Rachel that he's not the target this week, Dominic throws the veto competition.  Bad move, dude.  Bad move.  Brendan wins the competition, which, by the way, is a spelling competition just like the one last year when Jeff spelled, 'technotronics'.  It makes me wonder ... are these competitions rigged?  Do the producers pick competitions that play to certain house guests' strengths in an effort to manipulate the game?  'Big Brother', I am losing faith in you.  

Danielle goes on a mission to try to get Rachel to backdoor Jeff and Jordan, but overplays her hand and reveals herself to be playing both sides of the house.  I think she got too desperate.  I would have expected more subtle game play from you, Dani.  

At the Veto Ceremony, Brendan chooses not to use the power of veto, Rachel's nominations stay the same, and that's that. 

Thursday, July 28 - Live Eviction Ceremony, Head of Household Competition

In a Big Brother first, Jeff and Brendan call a house meeting to 'call out' those who have been playing both sides.  They reduce Kalia to tears, poor thing, but she sticks to her lie that she wasn't targeting Jeff.  In all the ensuing DRAMA, however, they didn't once directly bring Danielle to task for being the master mind of it all.  Jeff keeps saying, "A certain person".  Um, she's sitting right there looking daggers at you, Jeff.  Why don't you say her name?  Probably because Dani wouldn't put up with Jeff and Brendan's bullying behavior, like some of the other house guests did.  

At the live ceremony, everyone except Danielle vote to evict Dominic.  And Danielle's next if one of the veterans win HoH.

The Head of Household competition is an endurance challenge, BB's ploy to get people to subscribe to the live online feeds where they can 'watch the house guests' every move'.  I was wondering when they'd throw that type of competition in.  

So, at the end of the night we're left hanging (or, in the house guests' case, 'skiing') as to who will win HoH, along with the power to nominate two house guests for eviction.  

One last comment.  I'm really kind of over this season's BB.  It seems stacked to me, not a really fair competition, because Jeff and Jordan, and Rachel and Brendan are basically playing as one.  Each pair doesn't really care which in couple wins the final prize, as long as one of them makes it to the end.  Talk about an unfair advantage.  Also, the veterans have picked off all my favorite players, and we're left watching the four love birds play lords and ladies to their obedient serfs (aka, the newbies).  I'm going to watch the season to its end, but am pretty let down by how it's playing out.